how was your weekend?
Mine as usual, busy from class and homework.
Did ever happen to you to sit in Starbucks, maybe with some music in your ears, and looking at everything that it`s happening around you?
Like in a movie the pictures are running, someone laughs, others seem angry, a gentleman has just spilled his coffee on the floor, someone likes me he working on his laptop, the bartenders work tirelessly and I …
What can I say..
I am here, once again talking about myself….
With nothing in mind, but with the computer keyboard in front and the “office word” page open that slowly get fills with words.
Here in Seattle is another gray Sunday, the rain falls slowly as usual and the clouds hide the sun that sometimes seems to be able to do us peekaboo.
It`s amazing the vast amount of time that a rainy Sunday give us to think…
Looking among the things to write for the new post I thought several times to make one on homesickness.
That word is fun, but how much truth lies behind this violent and real word? Homesickness it`s really a sickness?
Is often entrusted to children who are left, for example at school by her mother or father, it is nothing more than the fear of parting.
I don`t know, I am almost 26 years old and I think that for me it`s not a fear of detachment, but an overwhelming sense of loneliness.
How many of you now reading my post are thinking about someone who lives far away? or just like me you had to leave far to follow your dreams, which often are not easy at all?
But despite everything, show must goes on, with a smile on the face in search of the most stupid signals… Like an Italian-style ham sandwich… and you wonder Italian-style ham? But yes, who care, it says “Italian” so I guess there is a little bit of home in there! In my heart I know that the sandwich piece that I’m chewing has absolutely nothing about home!
The truth is that there is no cure, homesickness is not a disease, it’s something that comes from inside, it`s uncontrollable, it starts from the deepest bowels of the body, or perhaps of the mind, I don`t know, but it is inexplicable.
The heart beats in the same way, just as the blood circulates in the same way, the mind seems to reasons like every day, but in reality the “disease” is there.
A fixed idea that moves with you in any direction you look. Some days are easy, it`s only hurts when you see or hear something that makes you remember home. But some others days is devastating, starts when you open your eyes in the morning until you close it for going to bed.
I discovered that there is nothing to do about it, you may try to distract yourself but it`s always there, it hits all day like a hammer every nerve cell in the brain. It`s devastating, but at the same time surprisingly fascinating, is able to succeed in making you feel smells and sounds that almost manage to snatch a melancholy smile on your face…
Sometimes I feel the smell of my house, I know it sounds crazy, but I swear that it`s possible, or the parquet creaking sound of my house.
I know the mind is able to do great things, perhaps maybe are only simple memories that slowly, one by one in those gray moments come out.
I repeat there is no cure, the only possible and effective solution is to live it.
Yeah, when homesickness takes you, and hurts you, or make you laugh or cry, we can only live it all until something comes just as strong to distracting us from it.
There is no vent, advice or comfortable word that someone may say, we must metabolize by ourselves.
Someone runs away from those feelings, someone turns his back, others make those sad feelings win and I…
What can I say…
Right now I`m looking out the window, it`s dark, I finished my coffee, it`s late and I guess that tomorrow we will see what will happen, after all….
Tomorrow is always another day.
I do not know if the post is relevant to my blog …
But I wanted to explain my sense of homesick. I`m sure that I`m not the only one that feel those feelings.
I`m also convinced that there are so many parents, sisters, and family members around the world who feel what my parents, my sister and my family members feel. However, I didn`t say that technology now shortens distances, but against Homesickness some days even the most advanced technology doesn`t work…
It didn`t want to be a sad post, but life is beautiful even when these moments wrap up our days, so in the end what counts is always the feeling of to be alive.
Then…. Once again, I hope you enjoyed the post …
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Kiss from KiKa
PS. Mom, thank you for always be there… I love you… 😘